Your supervisor repeatedly gives you unjustified criticism or vague criticism. Your supervisor takes unjustified disciplinary action against you, or makes false accusations against you.

If you’re given unjustified or vague criticism, ask what specific actions on your part were incorrect or improper. What (written) standards or requirements is this judgment based on? This clarification is necessary, since you can’t change what you can’t understand. Examples of vague criticism are, “You need to be more responsible,” “You need to get along better with your co-workers” “You need to take more initiative” and “You need to improve your attitude.”

Because these requests and goals are not stated in measurable terms, they’re practically meaningless—which becomes obvious when you put the criticism in writing, along with a request for some agreement on exactly which behavior(s) your supervisor expects you to change. If you’re not given specific changes in behavior, let your supervisor know that you can’t change what you can’t measure. If you’re given measurable changes, request that a date be set to meet again to evaluate your progress.

A special case of vague and unjustified criticism arises when a supervisor either complains that you’re a “troublemaker” or that you’re “not a team player.” This isn’t just vague, it’s manipulative. The unspoken message could be, “If you do what’s comfortable or convenient for me, you’re a team player, and if you don’t, you’re a troublemaker.” Being a “team player” can have other disturbing hidden meanings. It can mean that you’re willing to play every position on the team (that is, to do your own work and that of several other people), or that you’re willing to join others in ignoring personal or departmental problems that urgently need to be addressed.

Why would a supervisor resort to using these manipulative words with you? Here are some common reasons, which might make the situation less puzzling to you:

• A supervisor fearing a layoff is trying to appear valuable by fingering a “troublemaker.”
• An overly competitive supervisor feels threatened by your abilities, or jealous of your popularity. This is human nature and not something rare—and acknowledging the possibility of it doesn’t make mean you’re “conceited.”
• The supervisor is spotlighting you to divert attention away from the failings of a favored (“pet”) employee.
• The supervisor is attacking you in order to appear “tough” or “in charge” to everyone.

Hearing the word “troublemaker” can instantly arouse your defenses, but try not to be emotionally provoked. Instead, always ask what specific, observable behaviors your boss wants you to do or cease.

Blaming is often behind destructive or confusing criticism. The critical person is too busy blaming others to look for solutions to problems. The problem situation is often a complex one that involves several people. Blamers prefer to oversimplify things down to one single “culprit.” You could respond to this dilemma with a statement like,

“If I’ve been part of a problem, then I want to be part of the solution, but I’m not willing to be held responsible or blamed for the entire situation.”

Vague criticism is sometimes simply harassment—insubstantial or trivial fault-finding given by someone who wants to shake your confidence or keep you off balance. Whatever generates the hostility or fear that the critical person feels toward you is something you’ll probably never know. The way you respond is what’s important, such as with a statement something like,

“It sounds like you’re unhappy with my work,”

and, if this is denied,

“… but the pattern of vague critical comments to me is always the same.”

An alternative is,

“You know, I’m always exhausted after we’ve talked. Our conversation feels like a constant tug-of-war, which is a feeling I don’t have with other people. When you bombard me with criticisms, I can’t think straight. It feels like an attack and not like problem-solving. I don’t know where this is getting us.”